As a mother of two in California, I can no longer have the trifecta — a corporate paycheck, a highly desirable place to live, and flexible time to spend with my kids.

I can only choose two.

After my second baby was born this year, I left the corporate career I spent a decade building.

From the outside, rising childcare costs are the culprit. Nationwide, California unsurprisingly ranks near the bottom for childcare costs at No. 48, as of 2026.

After our second child, the math stopped making sense. 

But as any working mom will tell you, the choice is more complex than childcare alone.

As a fine wine public relations professional, most of my career has been spent drinking wine. I’ve had the opportunity to taste some of the best wines in the world, attend glamorous events, and meet the winemakers behind the stories I help tell.

I spent over 10 years living and working between Wine Country, Monterey Bay, and other state hot spots, where the idyllic version of California is the norm and selling it was part of my job.

But the California lifestyle we’re sold is becoming increasingly difficult to enjoy if you’re a parent.

After my husband and I moved our family to California’s rural heartland, we quickly realized parents here are facing challenges similar to those in their metro counterparts.

“My husband commutes to the Bay Area during the week and leaves at 3 a.m. to beat the traffic. We’re lucky that he has a friend to commute with; otherwise I’d worry he’d fall asleep on the drive.”

These are the conversations happening between moms in the school carpool line. Having one or both parents with steep commutes is a commonality.

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The conversations happening in my previous LA office were eerily similar: moms with 90-minute commutes each way after leaving the office at 6 p.m., contending with traffic, more career pressure, and less time with their kids.

No matter where you live in California, the trade-offs are real and moving inland doesn’t eliminate them. 

With a husband who travels to an office in the North Bay and internationally for work, someone in my household had to be the flexible parent. Having two traveling parents with one child was a logistical challenge; with two kids, it’s virtually impossible.

As someone who has always been highly career-motivated, having kids didn’t mean I wanted to leave the workforce.

My ambition didn’t disappear when I became a mom — it changed form.

California has one of the biggest gaps between work and motherhood, and it’s pushing moms toward a third option: entrepreneurship.

Instead of throwing my career out the window, I decided to give it a shot by way of my own PR consultancy for wineries.

It wasn’t because I always dreamed of starting a business, but because I felt pushed out of the workforce by a culture that no longer fit my lifestyle or budget as a mother with multiple children.

Mothers around the state are utilizing the California lifestyle to do for them what corporate America can’t — to fulfill their career ambitions in a way that better fits their families. From growing flower farms to becoming wellness coaches, vineyard yoga teachers, and kids’ surf instructors, mothers are using the resilience and creativity they inherently carry to monetize the very lifestyle that can be difficult to maintain in the first place.

In the new age of the internet, anyone can be an entrepreneur. Especially moms.

While I’m a firm believer in carving your own path, this isn’t an option for everyone — including single parents and those who work in California’s signature industries, like agriculture, tech, entertainment, and hospitality, which run on long and irregular hours and shift work, whether you’re a parent or not.

In a state known for innovation and imagination, California moms are trailblazing. Whether as a full-time working mom, a stay-at-home mom, or a mom with an itch to try something new, we’re redefining what success, ambition and identity look like.

The beauty is in having a choice.

That’s what the Golden State is all about.

Sydnie Hamby is an entrepreneur, wellness writer, IVF advocate and mom of two living in California’s Central Valley.