Please put away the school issued laptop for the summer. It would also be more fair if your older child had to earn screen time like the younger - why the different standard? But limit the time to 1 hour or less. Let them be bored and find things to do.

I let my daughter be bored in the car today and she made up a game where her “hand man” (her fingers were the hand man’s legs) had to jump over the cars that went past us in the opposite direction. She also narrated rain drop races down the window to me. She whined maybe twice for a minute each about needing something to do over a 40 minute drive.

100% agree. 

I let my kids be bored. Like, a LOT. 

Found my 11 year old son making those little balancing rock statues in the back yard the other day. Felt bad that he resorted to literally stacking rocks to make the time pass. Asked him if he wanted to play catch or something and he said “no thanks, this is really cool” and kept doing it for another 90 mins. 

Flow state is real 

Is there a reason she needs access to her school Chromebook during summer hours? Specifically if she’s not going something related to school? Just take the laptop. It’s ok to be bored, it’s actually healthy. She’ll come up with other things to do that are more productive and healthy than scrolling for 12hrs.

I put a 8.5 ft x 6.5 ft pool on our covered back patio. I put down insulation sheets, wrapped in plastic, and set the pool on it. It’s 25 inches deep because my kids are 8, 5, and 3. They swim in that pool 2-4 hours every single day and they love it. They have goggles, some snorkels, and some water guns. Next year I’ll go a bit bigger and deeper.

In the evenings, I put on a blindfold and the kids run and hide from me in the living room and we play a version of Marco Polo while I try to catch them.

Your kids are spending a lot of time on screens. We super limit our kids from them. The type of digital media today is built on the same addictive structure as slot machines. They scroll through and will randomly find something super interesting. That randomness encourages addiction and “doom-scrolling”. Humans weren’t designed for this. And kids are having a harder and harder time with this type of addiction. Avoid it at all costs.

Screen time like this destroyed my ability to enjoy non-intenet things from middle school to highschool. It's overstimulating!

Please take the laptop. She will draw, read, do whatever else that's character building.

28 years old now and my parents did a very different approach to parenting with my 18 year old sister based on me being frank with them about my childhood. She is so well adjusted. 

I’m a teacher— ween them off the devices so they do not become addicted. Please. 

12 is a great time to begin finding out what “being in the flow state” is about. Great activities to check out:

1. Gardening - can you find a place in the yard for them to plant interesting flowers, vegetables? They can decorate the area with fairy houses they build, fairy doors they make, and even build little furniture areas.

2. Learn cool fiber crafts - traditional sewing, needlepoint, cross-stitch, crochet, felting cute animals. Making gifts for others and things for oneself is nice.

3. mosaic projects (for garden or get a Turkish Lamp kit from Walmart)

4. Miniatures (little indoor scenes, bookstores, flower shops, there’s tons of kits)

5. Beading, either jewelry or keychains for example. Craft stores can always help with ideas.

6. Get an age-appropriate cookbook and put them in charge of figuring out what to buy, prep and cook once or two a week. Start slow with desserts if they have never cooked before.

7. Spend an afternoon at the library once a week - librarians are great folks and I highly recommend you say hello to one and ask them for book recommendations for your kids. Going once a week and spend an hour or more letting them wander and plop down with a book if they want. Check out 1-2 books a week and see how it goes.

If they fuss or complain “I’m BORED!” and seem like they have short attention spans, don’t back down. They are detoxing from dopamine dependency and their brain does everything it can to make it as unpleasant as possible. But ignore that and keep to the program - in time they will re-regulate to a new, more fulfilling flow state if you don’t give in. Contemplative skills win in the long run and will give them an advantage you’ll be proud of.

Good luck!

Unless your kid is seriously behind in math and at risk of not moving onto the next grade, math camp for 20 hours a week in the summer is cruel. I’d hide my face in a screen too if I were her. Put her in a sports camp or something. Get her active and worn out. Seems to me like you are taking all the fun out of summer and your kids are coping with screens.

You need to take the devices.

Also, why all the academics during the summer? are they behind? I would be pissssed if I had to spend my summer doing 20 hours of math camp a week.

For some kids they need the consistency of academics in order to transition into the new year. Plus if you have an academically talented kid they themselves might be asking for the extra workbooks and camps.

Yeah, this really depends on if she needs it or not.

My 12 year old does a summer program at her school but she has special needs and would fall behind if she didn't have it. It's just 3.5 hours a day 4 days a week but enough to keep her on track for the school year.

I wouldn't be forcing her to do it just because though