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Group of people sits on sectional sofas with three dogs in a living room.

Amelia and Sydney Stoker made a family compound. Sydney Stoker

Amelia and Sydney Stoker always hoped they could live in the same city when they had kids.

The 39-year-old twins told Business Insider they were envious of their friends who grew up with cousins around. As they pictured their adult lives, they hoped their own children could have the experience they had wanted.

When the sisters were wrapping up their orthodontics residencies in the Bay Area, though, it didn't feel realistic that they could live in the same city, Sydney said.

Twin sisters stand outside Twin Smiles Orthodontics beneath the practice sign near an entrance ramp.

The sisters work together at Twin Smiles Orthodontics.  Sydney Stoker

Amelia and her husband, Adam Fagin, were looking all over the country for an oral surgeon job for Fagin, while Sydney and her husband, Paden Roder, thought they would return to Portland, Oregon, which felt familiar and more affordable than the Bay Area.

Then, the perfect house changed everything.

Home sweet home

Fagin is from the Bay Area, and after his parents moved down the street, they kept the three-bedroom, two-bathroom house he grew up in. They saved it in case their son settled down in California, renting it out while he was completing his education.

In July 2022, the house next door to Fagin's family home went on the market, giving the Stokers and their spouses an idea: Sydney and Roder could buy it and raise their kids next to Amelia and Fagin, creating a multigenerational home.

The four-bedroom, two-bathroom house had everything Sydney's family would need, but she and her husband were a little hesitant. Living in the Bay Area is expensive, and they were apprehensive about how overwhelming it would be to live next door to family.

"My brother-in-law was the one who convinced us," Sydney said. "He was like, 'This is just too unique to pass up. Try it, and you can always reevaluate,' which is a great attitude that he has."

A photo of a couple with their three children and a photo of anothe couple with two children.

Sydney Stoker with her family and Amelia Stoker with her family.  Sydney Stoker

Plus, a building became available around the same time that the Stoker sisters could buy for their orthodontics practice. It felt like fate.

Sydney and her husband bought the house in the summer of 2022, shortly after they welcomed their first child. They now have a 4-year-old, a 2-year-old, and a newborn. Amelia and her husband also have a 4-year-old and a 2-year-old.

A family compound

Once the Stoker sisters and their spouses were next door to each other, they decided to embrace the benefits of living so close, turning their homes into a compound that could make all their lives easier.

They took down the fence between their backyards, essentially making their lots into one big property. The kids can come and go between each other's spaces whenever they want.

Both houses also have an accessory dwelling unit, or ADU, in the back. The families hired two au pairs, who live in one ADU, and the Stokers' mom typically stays in the other when she visits her daughters and grandkids.

Sydney's mother-in-law has been staying in the ADU in recent months while the couple turns their garage into a permanent home for her. Plus, Amelia's in-laws live down the street, so there's family everywhere.

Group of people sits on sectional sofas with three dogs in a living room.

Amelia and Sydney Stoker made a family compound.  Sydney Stoker

The seven adults who live on the property full time work together to make the compound function. The au pairs watch all five children together, and both families eat dinner together every weeknight. Amelia's household cooks on Tuesdays, Sydney's cooks on Thursdays, and Sydney's mother-in-law, who's retired and likes to cook, makes meals on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays.

The families also have a shared credit card that they use for compound-related expenses, such as paper towels and dinner supplies.

"My sister usually is the one who goes to Costco every week, and she'll just use that compound card," Sydney said. "We all pay on it together."

People gather on a covered backyard patio with wicker seating, an outdoor kitchen, and a stone floor.

The family's backyards are connected.  Sydney Stoker

Despite how much time they spend together, everyone still understands where their own home is, Amelia said.

"Everyone knows where their place is, and everyone wants to go home at the end of the night," she added. "So by about 7:30, everyone's tucked into their own little spaces."

The benefits of the compound

Both Amelia and Sydney said living on a compound makes raising their kids easier, particularly since they and their spouses work full-time jobs.

"I can't imagine trying to do it all by myself," Sydney said. "Everything is just seamless. I feel like we can have a third kid because of the compound."

Amelia said she feels like she and her sister have more free time than their friends since there are so many people available at any given moment to help care for their kids.

Several people and dogs gather around plates and a stone fire pit on a covered backyard patio.

They eat dinner together every weeknight.  Sydney Stoker

The sisters added that having more family around is a stark and welcome contrast to their upbringing.

"I love getting to see my nieces grow up," Sydney said. "I think about that every day, how lucky I am to see them grow up."

Their husbands are on the same page, with Sydney's spouse saying he loves how close all the children are becoming because of their living situation.

"I get to watch my nieces grow up alongside my own kids, and they're all developing these incredibly close relationships that I hope they'll carry with them for the rest of their lives," Roder said.

"From a practical standpoint, it also makes raising young kids so much easier," he added. "There's almost always another adult nearby to lend a hand, and the kids have built-in playmates right next door. It feels like we've created our own little village, which is pretty rare these days."

Amelia's husband agreed, saying he loves how many people are around their home at all times.

"As an only child, my upbringing was pretty quiet, so having two households, five kids, and au pairs sharing this space is a beautifully chaotic shift," Fagin said. "Seeing the kids run around and play together constantly, all day, every day, is just amazing. They have each other — something I never had growing up — and I think they are incredibly lucky."

"But the funny thing is, this setup gave me something I thought I would never have: siblings," he added. "You can make a new friend at any stage of life, but you can't just go out and meet a brother or sister. Sharing our daily lives with my wife's twin and her husband has finally given me the closest thing to a sibling I'll ever have."

Amelia and Sydney don't know if they'll keep living on the compound after their kids are out of the house, but for now, they can't imagine raising their children without being side by side.

"The biggest pro is having that community for our children," Amelia said. "The more support, the better."

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Samantha Grindell Pettyjohn is a Senior Lifestyle Reporter at Business Insider with more than eight years of experience in the lifestyle space.At Business Insider, Samantha's coverage focuses on unique living situations, interior design, celebrity style, and books. Her work includes features on multigenerational living and one-of-a-kind houses, timely articles on celebrity fashion, live coverage of award shows and pageants, and fun pieces about popular book series. Samantha also loves reporting on celebrities on her beats, from HGTV stars Christina Haack and Tarek El Moussa to authors such as Sarah J. Maas and Rebecca Yarros.Samantha appeared on Scripps News and CBS in 2022 to discuss the royal family, and in 2023, she won an Anthem Award for her work on Business Insider's package "Better Me."Samantha received her B.A. in English from Birmingham-Southern College in 2017, graduating Summa Cum Laude. She later earned her M.S. in Publishing from New York University in 2019. Samantha was previously a staff writer at Romper, and her writing has appeared in Cosmopolitan, Mic, and Oprah.com. Today, Samantha lives in Atlanta with her husband and dog.Email her at [email protected] and follow her on X.

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