Woman Dumping Boyfriend for Being an 'Overprotective Dad' Backed

2 weeks ago 15

A woman is being backed by the internet for dumping her boyfriend for being an "overprotective" dad.

In a viral Reddit post, u/thef***2022 explained that her 44-year-old boyfriend has "accused" her of "inappropriate contact" with his 11-year-old daughter.

Newsweek spoke to the original poster (OP), who has received 9,400 upvotes and almost 1,000 comments since sharing her shocking story on November 21. Newsweek also reached out to two psychotherapists, one of whom said it sounds like the dad is "jealous" of the attention his daughter has been receiving from his partner.

Couple arguing
A file photo of a couple arguing. A 43-year-old woman has shocked the internet as she explains her partner, 44, "accused" her of having "inappropriate contact" with her 11-year-old daughter. PeopleImages/iStock/Getty Images Plus

The post starts by introducing her now ex-boyfriend as B and his daughters K, 13, and L, 11. Speaking to Newsweek, she confirmed they have split up and he has collected his belongings.

She said: "I have not reached out to his family and still am hella torn about it."

"Some [comments have] suggested that he may have trauma that I don't know about that is triggering his response, but regardless, he doesn't have to hold my things hostage. I suspect this is some sort of manipulation tactic to possibly see me again in the future or maybe he's just p***** off.

"The main theme in the comments is a classic projection which has kind of broken my brain a bit."

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Referring back to the post, the OP explained: "Immediately L & I clicked because I swear she's a younger version of me. On Mondays and Tuesdays, L would have her dad (B) drop her off and pick her up from her play lessons and I would ride along and the 3 of us would cut up, make terrible "yo mamma" jokes & overall have a blast. If/when I couldn't ride along, she would be upset that she didn't know if/when she would see me again since "you've had a lot of terrible girlfriends and I really like K. Please don't screw this one up."

The user explained one month ago, a play class was canceled so L came back to her house with her dad to watch TV. While B went out for a cigarette, his daughter changed her lounging position.

"L has her back leaning up against my shoulder while she kicked her feet out the other direction.

"I have a 13-year-old son and this was normal, even for him."

When her dad returned to the room, u/thef***2022, states he gave her an "evil eye" and continued to stare at them.

As the story unfolds, the original poster explains she felt "sick" writing about the moment he stated he wanted to "protect" his daughter.

"I asked him straight out if he thought I would ever harm L or any child in any way.

"He explained it away that he was just an overprotective dad and that L is impressionable and wanted to protect her.

"I don't have daughters, only a son so I told him I was sorry, even though the whole accusation really broke my heart and nothing more was said."

Mom speaking to kid
A file photo of a mom speaking to a child. A licensed psychotherapist has revealed what to do if you are suspicious of child abuse. Lacheev/iStock/Getty Images Plus

On November 20, the family celebrated Thanksgiving with a lake-side staycation. She explains she took both daughters for a walk but K "tapped out" after a while.

After 10 minutes, B began yelling for them, initially the duo thought he was going to join them, but he turned his back and walked off. This prompted them to return and K went on to find out what was wrong.

She wrote: "He said because I know how you are and was upset you 2 were alone together, not answering me."

"When I specifically asked what he meant by the 'I know how you are' comment, his only answer was that because I have had sex with other women.

"So here I am devastated that for the second time in my life, I'm being accused of pretty much-having pedo tendencies."

Couple arguing
A file photo of a couple arguing. Newsweek spoke to the Redditor who confirmed she had broken up with her partner after the allegations he made. fizkes/iStock/Getty Images Plus

Newsweek reached out to Silvia Dutchevici, a psychotherapist with more than 20 years of experience and a particular interest in childhood sexual abuse.

"Stories around childhood sexual abuse are always complex. It is difficult to say what is happening in the story, especially since the people we pick to have intimate relationships with reflect something about ourselves we are working through," the founder of New York-based Critical Therapy Institute told Newsweek.

She continued: "I am wondering what has happened to the author in this story to pick this man, who seems to have issues around sexuality, and intimacy. As far as his paranoia, it might be a result of past trauma."

Dr. Aboyoun Darren is a licensed psychotherapist who pointed out we only have one side of the story.

Speaking to Newsweek, he said: "I have made the best inferences I can, there's some key information we don't know - especially, ways in which B might disagree with the facts.

"However, his actions are revealing. It seems like B's reaction has much more to do with himself than it does with her. For example, he may feel jealous of his daughter's attention from his partner. Or, he may truly lack an understanding of the ways in which an adult female can be connected to a younger female.

"It's possible that B struggles to understand and process his negative emotional reactions to hers, such as his discomfort with her bisexuality. Another aspect of this relates to B's lack of urgency in his response to his partner. I would expect him to act swiftly if there was a clear danger present."

While the user defends her innocence, it is important to outline what to do if you suspect child abuse.

"First, if a parent has concerns that someone is acting inappropriately toward one's child, the most important step is to remove their child from the situation," said Dr. Aboyoun, based in Easton, Pennsylvania. "Second, having a conversation with the child, and asking open questions is also important. This can be used as a teachable moment. The child will likely remember how the parent managed the situation (with ease and maturity versus highly reactive) rather than the specific details."

Mom speaking to kid
A file photo of a mom speaking to a child. A licensed psychotherapist has revealed what to do if you are suspicious of child abuse. Lacheev/iStock/Getty Images Plus

Many people have commented on the post to offer their support and to give their own views.

The top comment has received 9.900 upvotes: "There is a reason his girls said "please don't screw this one up." He has some issues that he needs to iron out. I'm really sorry."

"Why do I have a feeling that he was jealous that his daughter is spending more time with you than him and he just doesn't like you spending time with her but for real that's some weird shit I'm glad you broke up with him you deserve better," wrote another.

Another said: "Get everything out in the open. I have a sickening feeling that this guy is projecting."

According to Karen R. Koenig, M.Ed, LCSW, projection refers to unconsciously taking unwanted emotions or traits you don't like about yourself and attributing them to someone else.

If you or a loved one suspect child abuse, please reach out to the Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline 1-800-422-4453

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