Give Kelly Clarkson the singing bird on the wall and no one gets hurt, dammit!

If we’ve learned anything about the highly publicized customer service war between Clarkson and Art of Play, a small Brooklyn magic shop, it’s that three simple words — “not for sale” — will turn the usually affable singer into Joan Crawford stumbling upon a wire hanger.

And in her fit, she will name and shame.

Since Saturday, when Clarkson deployed a nastygram on X at the independent shop on Atlantic Avenue, people have joined in the back and forth declaring their allegiance to either Team Kelly or Team Small Business.

Now we have the security footage of her few minutes in the store and it’s been analyzed as closely as the Zapruder Film.

Clarkson, who has 8.8 million followers on X, wrote that she drove “all the way to Brooklyn to check out this store I thought looked really rad and had a few things in mind to buy and literally was looked at as if I couldn’t afford it and was told he could find something comparable for me.”

“Wow, dude. You’re an idiot and just lost a huge sale. But y’all should go check out Art of Play in Brooklyn if you enjoy being treated like Julia Roberts character in Pretty Woman. For sure, check it out 👎,” she added.

It was Clarkson at her most candid. How could a shopkeeper treat our very wealthy, down-to-earth daytime TV queen like poor white trash with a bank balance to the left of zero?

…Or did they?

The store responded on Instagram explaining that the “American Idol” winner had asked about buying “Molly, a one-of-a-kind singing-dancing bird automation who plays an important role in the magic shows we host here.”

They noted that Molly is affixed to the wall and not for sale. But they had already felt the wrath of Clarkson’s fans.

“Imagine our surprise when our small local business was suddenly attacked by 8 million people,” they said. But they also remained polite, expressing hope they could “clear things up with Kelly someday.”

Clarkson took the olive branch, snapped it in half and set it on fire.

“So, you’re not only rude, you’re also a liar. Got it,” she wrote, adding that there was a $15,000 price tag on the bird.

The store’s response did color Clarkson’s claims quite a bit.

She lost her cool and tossed her good reputation in the trash over an animatronic bird?

How absurd.

And while there’s no sound with the store footage, there’s also no apparent ruckus. Did they even have time to treat her like a low class poor?

I doubt it.

The owner said, “nothing happened in the shop that was so dramatic that it’s worth throwing a Molotov cocktail into a mom-and pop-business.”

Is she that insecure or entitled?

Running a brick-and-mortar store in New York City is almost impossible these days. If the rents don’t squash you, apparently, the celebrity clienteles’ egos will.

She didn’t go after a major multi-gazillion dollar corporation whose customer service line she was unable to reach. Clarkson knowingly sicced her fans on a quirky little shop just trying to survive. Talk about punching down.

Maybe she’s bored after her eponymous daytime show ended in August.

She could have called them and settled it privately.

But there’s no dopamine hit in discretion. Nowadays, it’s not uncommon for people to broadcast every minor disagreement to social media, where it’s served up as the debate du jour. And random online idiots take up their chosen cause with the zeal of crusaders, often bombarding small businesses over an imagined slight.

Just ask Art of Play.

Clarkson has squandered so much goodwill over this. She may have an incredible voice, but she clearly has very thin skin.