A woman who thought it was “harmless” when she began vaping has described how it became a decade-long addiction which took a lifechanging revelation to finally overcome.

Holly Kurtz, 27, was just 17 years old when she was introduced to vaping by her friends. She told Newsweek that she “had no desire” to start vaping regularly, but it gradually got more convenient and habitual.

Indeed, once she started buying her own, the vapes never left her hand.

“I vaped whenever I could—in the car, my room, at a friend’s house,” Kurtz, of Nashville, Tennessee, said. “For 10 years, the first thing I did in the morning was vape. The last thing I did before I closed my eyes was vape. I fell asleep with my vape next to my pillow every night, and in my hand.”

Vapes have become increasingly popular, as the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) highlights that e-cigarettes are the most prominent tobacco product among youth in the U.S. According to the FDA’s annual National Youth Tobacco Survey, approximately 2 million middle and high school students report current use of a tobacco product, equating to more than 7 percent. More than 27 percent of current youth e-cigarette users reported daily use.

For Kurtz, the flavored vapes made it feel like an enjoyable treat, distracting her from the potential harms. Most vapes contain nicotine which is highly addictive and toxic. While e-cigarettes tend to contain fewer harmful chemicals than cigarettes, the CDC states that this does not necessarily make them safe.

“I experienced shallow breathing, occasional chest pain, nausea, appetite suppression, and significant damage to my teeth and gums,” Kurtz said. “My throat started to hurt constantly. But the more I hit the vape, the more desensitized I became. Not to mention the emotional side effects of the shame and panic when you know it’s about to die or if you forget it at home.

“I realized that I was attached to the vape when I was no longer able to just leave it in the car. I was hitting the vape while walking from my car to the location I was headed, and even in bathroom stalls.”

Following years of habitual vaping, Kurtz reached a turning point in 2026.

She was at home (vape in hand, of course) and started to picture herself as an older woman who was unable to play with her grandchildren. The idea that this tiny plastic device could determine the state of her future was a horrifying thought that made Kurtz deeply question the habit.

She told Newsweek: “I had always known the effects of vaping, but then I imagined myself struggling to get out of a chair and lacking the energy to pick up and play with my future grandchildren. I was sacrificing Future Holly for Present Holly.

“Once that thought settled in my mind, I was terrified. Once I finally saw myself as Grandmother Holly, it put everything into an alarming perspective.”

It was not an instant shift, but Kurtz cut down incrementally until she was finally ready to throw out her “emotional support vape.”

In the initial days, Kurtz exhibited mood swings, bloating and increased appetite, making her realize that vaping had been suppressing her appetite all these years. She often finds herself checking her back pocket for the vape as it became such an automatic response, but Kurtz finally feels in control of her mind and body.

She said: “It is an incredibly hard habit to kick. I am still experiencing the mood swings, bloating, and eating more than I would have been comfortable with in the past, but I am extremely proud. I stayed true to myself, and I’m doing this because I am dedicated to building a life that I want to enjoy.

“I want to be an active grandmother and to run more than a couple of steps before feeling like my heart is going to explode. My future belongs to me, and the woman I am becoming is not willing to risk struggling to get out of her chair and play with her grandchildren.”

Not only does Kurtz feel optimistic about her health, but quitting has also provided a sense of trust within herself. She now feels more conviction and is excited about the milestones she can achieve.

For the last decade, Kurtz was rarely ever without a vape in her hand, but the realization of how it could be damaging her future was incredibly sobering. She shared her experience on TikTok (@holllykurtz) as she hopes to show that quitting is possible.

“The only thing that got me to stop was being kind to the 60-year-old version of myself. I had to stop thinking only about who I am today and start picturing who I want to become. I had to care enough about myself to accept the fact that this would be uncomfortable, but ultimately, I’ve decided to quit causing my own suffering,” Kurtz said.

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Contact Newsweek editors on this story: Charlotte Nisbet and Emma Lee-Sang